After talking extensively with clients, I find that a huge roadblock to finding a lasting romantic partner is overworking. So many of us are addicted to work. We are working 40/50/60 hours and sometimes even more.
When I was a massage therapist, I had a regular client who was working 90 hours a week. He was a young guy and had a five year plan to do computer tech programming, score a bundle of dough then start his own business. A noble goal. The problem was that the long hours, with no fresh air and bad food, were aging him rapidly and his body ached from lack of exercise. I was his only social life other than his workmates who were also overworked by choice.
Then, there are those who have financially crippled themselves, one way or another, and have no way out but overwork. Still, many wonder why they only have time and energy to roam the social networks to chat up other overworked souls that live too far away. Do we only have energy to work at digital relationships?
One way to handle this problem is to scale down our buying, which in turn will scale down our bills, and in turn will require us to work less. This seems such a simple solution, yet the outcome of overwork is to overspend because we think we deserve it. In fact, we feel entitled. Entitled to keep this disturbing self-sabotage afloat.
It is not only romantic partnerships that suffer when we overwork ourselves. ALL our relationships are impacted negatively. We are irritable, impatient, and unloving when we are drained of energy. Health problems arise and other addictions creep into our lives.
There are those that thrive on their heavy workloads, yet that is a very tiny percentage and those people have made huge sacrifices in other parts of their lives. Balance becomes tricky in this digital millennium. Yet, balance in all parts of our lives is the very thing that enables us to have great relationships.
In these emotional months that are swayed astrologically by Super-moons, we all have a chance to re-access our priorities. It all breaks down to kindness. Are we kind to ourselves? Are we kind to our partners, our children, our friends and family members, our fellow workers and to all living beings? Do we have time to be kind or are we pushing ourselves over the limit to make money? Is this really worth it?