Tag Archives: wholeness

Belonging vs Loneliness

1059467_368729593249333_1633070359_nThis is a very powerful time as the coming Full Moon in Leo illuminates the Mercury retrograde and issues and people come back into our lives.

I had a very “dark angel” experience in the library while doing some research. A young volunteer approached me, this happens every time I go to the library or anywhere for that matter. She told me all about her dark experience at 6 years of age as a psychiatrist experimented on her with drugs, electric probes ect. She is 24, off the meds, living on her own now yet approaching strangers in the library (especially those who remind her of her mom who she holds responsible) to repeat her childhood horrors because she is haunted by her past.

She is not crazy just damaged. She is extremely smart yet stubbornly remaining in victim mode : talking herself in circles trying to make sense of her senseless childhood.

There is nothing to do or say until a person asks for help. Yet, we all are looking to belong to something or someone. We all need to connect with others and in our loneliness reach out in odd ways, sometimes to our own detriment if our heart is not connected to our mind.

This is the time to revisit, with compassion, those times we connected with others who misguidedly dragged us out of our integrity because we were lonely and wanted to belong to someone or something.

Until we see our lack of faith in the Divine spark within us we are just a mind muscle, our hearts seldom involved in any of our relationships.

Until we face and embrace our shadow selves, forgive ourselves and others and let the past go we are not whole.

Gaia is shifting and moving into a higher vibration. Let’s get to work so we can move up with HER!!

Moving Toward Wholeness



Integrating lost parts of ourselves can be frustrating because we think we should be moving forward yet this Full Moon in Cancer speaks loudly about uniting mind, heart and action. So, we have to ask ourselves if the goals we are striving towards really unite our mind and heart because acting on them, without first contemplating this key aspect, can result in blocks.

This highly energetic upgrade, we are experiencing as we hurtle towards the seventh and last Pluto/Uranus Square, is re-aligning our DNA, thoughts, feelings, dreams, goals, actions, relationships, homes and Gaia herself!

This is a powerful winter, relax into it. When we strive to move into wholeness, the core of our being, our INTEGRITY is challenged until we consistently live our value system. We may feel as though we are on lockdown, when actually the Divine spark within us is protecting our higher selves from our lower selves! Soon, there will be no division.

Instead of making this complicated, do less. Let’s pare down our day, wherever possible, and make sacred alone time for ourselves. Conserve energy. Burrow down like the Bear. Most of us cannot hibernate yet we can slow down and enjoy more quiet time, less stimulation and more contemplation.

This seventh Pluto/Uranus square, coming in mid March, can be equated to the seventh chakra. The top of our heads opening wide to the heavens and downloading violet DIVINITY into ALL our bodily systems. Let’s prepare ourselves to receive this amazing gift by moving into wholeness.

As Above, So Below!


In honor of the Autumnal Equinox and a spectacular Harvest moon, I am going to brief you on my Sedona journey to date!

My Sedona-cation, education of the wackiest and speediest spiritual evolution, I believed would be less harsh and more gentle if I lived on the rim of all the vortexes.  So, things manifested so I could buy a piece of land with a well and three small straw-bale structures: the main house, the art studio and my yoga casita.  My brother calls this my high desert plantation and another friend calls my property a stronghold.  I am very grateful to be the caretaker of this sacred piece of land and eco-houses built lovingly by hand.

Originally, I came here with my man, yet after a loooooooooooooooong caretaking experience with my lovely mother, who had Alzheimer’s, we could not resuscitate our love relationship.  It died with my mother in 2008, yet we were overwhelmed, tired and dismayed with the housing market fallout, life’s heavy demands and the ‘do it now’ attitude of those around us.  So, we stuck together as friends.  We found this property after an escrow had fallen out for my mother’s house and we came to Sedona for a breather at Christmas 2008.

Skipping ahead to the present, I have been laughing alot with my new man while recounting our different journeys to the NOW.  After examining our spiritual warrior wounds with light hearts and pride, for we both know in our hearts that this is the earth-dance we signed up for in the void, I have realized a few things and wish to share them.

Things really sped up for me in 2000, the millennium.  My best friend’s cancer returned after nine years. (I met her in Peru in 1994, she had gone through a battery of holistic treatments and beat it.  We laughed all the way through Peru and Bolivia!)  It was because of her that I became entranced with raw food, wrote my first book and went into the healing arts.

I have had “experiences” from childhood, yet thought it was all normal and natural and that everyone has these experiences and, of course, I AM not mistaken!  It just has taken till NOW for others to catch up or feel comfortable talking about these otherworldly things!  Meanwhile, I was always surrounded with those who were like me in any career I chose.  I AM so grateful!

Back to the NOW.  So, after laughing about the losses, the betrayals, the crazy behavior that greed ignites, the illusions of grandeur that are immediately shot down and the deviations from our spiritual paths that result in being bit in the ass, we, and most of all I, realize that without a great sense of humor all of this would be, and IS, overwhelming!

To top all of this off, here in Sedona, if you are smiling, happy, effusive and friendly you are considered a mark, a tourist, by many desperate healers that have been drawn here to do the great work, they think.  In reality, Sedona kicks butts!!!

If we are not aligned with our soul purpose here in Sedona, if we use the umbrella of spiritual-ness or high consciousness to condone bad behavior, we are pulverized!!!!  Sure, this happens everywhere now, just look at the news, yet here in Sedona it is more intense and quicker, almost immediate now.  Sedona is an energetic gateway, a portal for energies from many dimensions.  Sedona attracts people from all over the world and beings from all over the galaxy!!!

It is very important to stay grounded here or we could slip into delusion.  Many follow deluded leaders and then we hear about groups of people in secret canyons building arks!!  Wow!  No judgment here, just discerning that this is NOT my reality!

I love it here!  It is an amazing place.  The high desert is gorgeous and Arizona has every climate, except sub-tropical rainforest, built into the state.  So, a short car trip away you can find another eco-system, climate, vegetation, wild animals and different types of people.

Sure, I miss the Pacific Ocean every day and watch with sadness the cruelty and radiation advancing through the oceanic wildlife.  We all must choose our battles now and this is mine:  All waterways, oceans, and lakes.

Back to Sedona.  The wild dichotomy continues with the fact that Sedona holds the most millionaires in the country.  The brilliant beauty of the red rocks, green juniper trees against a backdrop of stunning vistas invites the world’s richest to buy their second, third, or fourth vacation house here.  A sense of entitlement runs rampant thru the red rocks!   Trying to do sane business with these people is wack.  Lawsuits abound!!!

So, to recap we have the delusional, the entitled, the spiritual grifters and the ecstatic, happy tourists mixing with the sane, grounded service people who are constantly moving out of the center of Sedona to live in a more harmonious place.

Now for the point of this article.  The Harvest, so to speak.  I believe the entire Earth is a Vortex NOW.  The wild shifts in climate and the fact that our scientists cannot decide whether we are in a heating trend or an ice age dictates that we are capable of working with the elements on Gaia to create what we wish.  Large groups of people all over the globe, meditating or just intending positive outcomes with ritual or some individual habit of bliss can, and will, bring us all into the 4th and 5th dimensions of harmony, oneness, sharing, caring, fun, abundance, prosperity for all, sustainability, regeneration for Gaia and all beings and most of all, acceptance of all life everywhere!

This radical chaos will pass.  We can choose to man-up, be spiritual warriors to enter into WHOLENESS.  This is our challenge at this time.  We are experiencing regeneration right down to the cellular level and so is Gaia.  This is deep and we cannot always see the right action on the surface of ourselves or Gaia.  Take heart, let’s constantly come back to our center, our grounded point of inner strength.  Let right action flow through us as we listen to our souls, the Divine residing within all of us.  Let us nourish this capacity in true humility. 

We are here as individuals to work in harmonious teams to achieve swift and amazing positive change in our world!  We got this!!!